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Blatant Lies Told By Wrestling Announcers  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Sun Jan 13th, 2008 11:35 pm
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beejmi
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Yeah I know - it's "working".

Every announcer told you things that weren't true -- and whether your bullshit detector went off or not I would like to hear them.

I am filing suit against the following wrestling announcers for feeding me the following bullshit.

Gorilla Monsoon used to tell us that to get a title match you had to be the "number one contender" which meant having had won a certain number of matches vs top competition. Bullshit.

Vince McMahon used to trace the origin of the Indian Strap Match right back to the dang Indians as this was how they settled the differences that couldn't be settled otherwise.  Uh huh. Sure.

Gordon Solie told me the Masked Superstar was a former Olympic athlete. I don't think so.

 

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 Posted: Sun Jan 13th, 2008 11:56 pm
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srossi

 

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My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.

I don't remember Solie ever saying that Superstar was a former Olympian, but I remember hearing in several different territories that he was a very famous pro athlete wrestling under a mask to hide his identity and he would be instantly recognizable if he took it off.

Of course Andre being undefeated and never having been slammed.

Fabulous Moolah being like a 36-year champion or whatever too.

Last edited on Sun Jan 13th, 2008 11:58 pm by srossi



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 12:03 am
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BayouBoogie



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srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


That's a good one.

 

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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 12:05 am
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The Ultimate Sin
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srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


They're called carpenters, mother fucker!  Show some damn respect!  That pencil has an eraser, and you don't know because you weren't there.



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 12:40 am
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Franchise
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Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.

Last edited on Mon Jan 14th, 2008 02:55 pm by Franchise



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 12:43 am
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king-of-old-school



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At every show Gorilla Monsoon saying"They are literally hanging from the rafters" and you would see empty seats...



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 01:18 am
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thunderbolt
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The Ultimate Sin wrote: srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


They're called carpenters, mother fucker!  Show some damn respect!  That pencil has an eraser, and you don't know because you weren't there.


It also seemed like every jobber had always "been on an impressive win streak of late".

"This would be a main event in any arena in the world."

Some mid-card guy who hadn't been on tv for a few weeks was always just returning from a successful world tour.






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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 01:56 am
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gogodelfin

 

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LOL in the new Smackdown vs Raw videogame there was a commentary goof that really cracked me up. I was playing as Undertaker and fought Great Khali, and the match was terrible, and I just threw him out of the ring to win by countout - just before the next loading screen came up they managed to squeak out one last line of commentary from JR:

"Boy, what a match!"


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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 02:08 am
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TerryWWWF



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About 90 percent of the wrestlers' NFL backgrounds were lies.

 

 

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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 03:01 am
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sek69



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My favorite Gorilla-ism is when he would say "you can only find this kind of action in the world wrestling federation" and it would be during a 15 minute jobber vs jobber match.

Or even better, if a jobber would be allowed to  get some offense in, he'd sell how dangerous this guy can be despite the fact the jobber usually looked like a fat guy out of the crowd.



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 05:42 am
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srossi

 

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My favorite Gorilla-ism is when he would say "you can only find this kind of action in the world wrestling federation" and it would be during a 15 minute jobber vs jobber match.

Bruno has been saying that a lot in the UWF.  The UWF!



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 11:58 am
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TerryWWWF



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"Promoters all over the country have been bidding for this match."

(Reality: Nick Gulas would have booked it for $100).

 

 

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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 02:05 pm
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HBF



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BayouBoogie wrote: srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


That's a good one.

 


Yeah, it was a tough sell in the WWF during Baron Scicluna matches.:D

Almost all of the "amateur" wrestling credentials were bullshit.  There were exceptions, but I take it as the majority of these guys were either released from prison for jacking hubcaps rather than rolling around on the amateur mats.

Last edited on Mon Jan 14th, 2008 02:06 pm by HBF



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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 09:23 pm
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kargol



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Monsoon called Carlos Colon a "youngster" when the latter was in the Royal Rumble, must have been 49 at the time or something.

There's some stupid little things that are obviously wrong.  When Raven's Nest/Flock was broken up by DDP, Tony Schiavone said that it was a good thing for the members.  At a time when Saturn was wearing a dress, Lodi was without a role, Scott Vick was still a heel and Reese was jobbing to Juventud Guerrera.



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 Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 12:23 am
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BayouBoogie



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Franchise wrote: Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.
Similarly, Hacksaw Duggan was banned from the NFL for being too wild and violent.

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