WowBB Forums Home 
Home Search search Menu menu Not logged in - Login | Register

 Moderated by: Ron, brodiescomics, beejmi Page:  First Page Previous Page  ...  63  64  65  66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  ...  Next Page Last Page  
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
Bad Jokes  Rating:  Rating
AuthorPost
 Posted: Sun Oct 18th, 2015 11:51 am
  PM Quote Reply
1006th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
Ben Affleck goes to the doctors and says,
"Doctor doctor, every time I look in the
mirror I get aroused."

The doctor replies, "I'm not surprised...
you're a cunt."

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Oct 25th, 2015 11:31 am
  PM Quote Reply
1007th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp into the wife's business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor. The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his dick and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp. And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion. So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife don't object. Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife. Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigour. The husband shouts, "What the hell's happening?" To which the doctor replies, "Change of plan. I'm going to drown the bastard!"

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Fri Oct 30th, 2015 12:35 am
  PM Quote Reply
1008th Post
beejmi
THE BIG KAHUNA


Joined: Sat Oct 13th, 2007
Location: Philly
Posts: 43091
Status: 
Offline

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Nov 1st, 2015 10:51 am
  PM Quote Reply
1009th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
During a blizzard, a parishinor of a Milwaukee parish was in a bad accident near Green Bay. The priest and nun from Milwaukee were driving up to the hospital the victim was in, in case last rites (sp?) were necessary. As they were driving, the storm got worse and worse. Finally they decided they would have to stop for the night because the roads were so bad. The only motel they could find was already full of stranded travellers. The clerk told the priest "Since you are a priest and all, I will give you a room for the night, but I just can't give you each a separate room, you will have to make do with two beds in one room." The priest thanked him and payed for the room. during the night, the power went out, and the heat went out with it. Luckily there were a lot of blankets is the closet. After a while, the nun asked, father, father, I'm cold--so the priest got another blanket and put it on her. After a while longer, she said "father, I'm cold, can you get me another blanket," so he did. After a while, she again asked for a blanket. This time the priest responded "I think in the situation we should pretend to be husband and wife in order to keep warm." The nun was stunned and didn't think it was appropriate, but he was the priest, so she really couldn't argue. She said "O.K., father, if you are sure its proper we can pretend to be husband and wife" to which he responded: "SO GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET!"

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Nov 8th, 2015 11:36 am
  PM Quote Reply
1010th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
There was this couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bedlamp on and read a book. As he was reading he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling with her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What are doing taking all your gear off?". The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I though it was foreplay for something a bit heavier". The husband said, "No, not at all". The wife then asked," Well, what were you doing then?". "Oh", he said, "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!".

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Nov 15th, 2015 11:44 am
  PM Quote Reply
1011th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
Little Johnny is staying at his grandmother’s house for the weekend with his parents. He walks into their room in the middle of the night and wakes his mother. His mother says “What is it Johnny?”. Little Johnny says “Grandma has a shrimpy”! His mother looks at him puzzled. “She has a WHAT?” Johnny says “A Shrimpy!”
 His mother has no idea what little Johnny is talking about. His mother says “Come show me what you’re talking about”. Little Johnny leads his mother downstairs where his 85 year old grandmother is lying sprawled out on the sofa in her night-gown. Her gown is wide open and so are her legs. She is sound asleep. Johnny says to his mother “Look mommy, Grandma has a shrimpy”.
 He points to her vagina. His mother laughs. “No, no, Johnny, that’s not a shrimpy. That’s her vagina”. Little Johnny looks up at his mother and says “Wow! Sure does taste like shrimpy”.

Last edited on Sun Nov 15th, 2015 11:45 am by lobo316

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Nov 22nd, 2015 11:52 am
  PM Quote Reply
1012th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
A white woman and a black man are dancing at a club, and after a while things start to get hot and heavy. After some heavy kissing and petting, the woman makes the suggestion that they return to her apartment for the night.

When the couple arrives at the woman’s apartment, they begin passionately kissing and undressing each other, preparing to have frenzied and unrepentant sex with each other.

However, the white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, “before you take them off….is it true what they say about black guys?”

With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said “baby, of course.” He then proceeded to stab her and ran out with her purse.

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Nov 22nd, 2015 12:12 pm
  PM Quote Reply
1013th Post
CanadianHorseman



Joined: Fri Nov 2nd, 2007
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia Canada
Posts: 14026
Status: 
Offline
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^



____________________
Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Nov 29th, 2015 11:01 am
  PM Quote Reply
1014th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother, Linda. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom "Kid's.... there's good news and bad news."

"The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago"

"The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Nov 29th, 2015 11:54 am
  PM Quote Reply
1015th Post
kargol



Joined: Thu Oct 18th, 2007
Location: Brum, United Kingdom
Posts: 4609
Status: 
Offline
I suppose you knew why Macca and his unidexter wife Heather Mills fell out? He got her a plane for her birthday.

And a sock for her other foot.



____________________
superfunkymean
Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Nov 29th, 2015 08:23 pm
  PM Quote Reply
1016th Post
beejmi
THE BIG KAHUNA


Joined: Sat Oct 13th, 2007
Location: Philly
Posts: 43091
Status: 
Offline


Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Dec 6th, 2015 10:49 am
  PM Quote Reply
1017th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
Top 10 things men would do if they woke up with a vagina instead of a penis.


10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.   
 8. See if they could finally do the splits.   
 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.   
 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.   
 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time.  
 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without          sleeping    first.  
 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on    video.  
 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for tits too.... 
And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina..   
 1. Try to  find that damned G-spot. 

Last edited on Sun Dec 6th, 2015 10:50 am by lobo316

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Dec 6th, 2015 10:51 am
  PM Quote Reply
1018th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
An Australian businessman goes to South Korea on business. Being lonely and not knowing many people, he picks up a hooker. They get up to his hotel room and quickly get down to having a root. The guy is getting pretty proud of himself because the prosi keeps shouting "Gamma Sum" "Gamma Sum". He's not sure exacly what this means but based on the rumors he'd heard about oriental twat and the way she kept screaming, he assumed that it was a high level Korean compliment. The next day, he was promoting his product on the golf course with some wealthy Korean businessmen. One of the men hit a hole in one and everybody was ecstactic. Wanting to try out his new Korean expression, he turned to the man and said "Gamma Sum". The man said, "What the hell do you mean 'wrong hole'?"

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Dec 13th, 2015 11:32 am
  PM Quote Reply
1019th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief,

"This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Dec 20th, 2015 11:43 am
  PM Quote Reply
1020th Post
lobo316



Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: Raptorville
Posts: 44383
Status: 
Offline
A toothless termite walked into a pub & asked,
"Is the bar tender here?"

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

Current time is 02:28 pm Page:  First Page Previous Page  ...  63  64  65  66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  ...  Next Page Last Page    
WowBB Forums > Sports And Wrestling > General Discussion > Bad Jokes Top




UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2013 Data 1 Systems