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 Posted: Fri Jun 16th, 2017 03:58 am
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beejmi
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 Posted: Sun Jun 25th, 2017 07:00 am
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lobo316



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Why is it so hard to break up with your Japanese girlfriend?


You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the message.

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 Posted: Sun Jul 2nd, 2017 07:50 am
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lobo316



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Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?

A: Won't happen -- there are some things even a pig won't do.

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 Posted: Fri Aug 11th, 2017 04:17 am
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1129th Post
beejmi
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 Posted: Fri Aug 11th, 2017 04:18 am
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beejmi
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 Posted: Wed Aug 16th, 2017 11:18 am
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beejmi
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 Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2017 07:49 am
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lobo316



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An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: "Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?"

The Irishman replies: "No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both."

The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.

The barman asks: "Did something happen one of your brothers?" "Oh no," replies the Irishman. "I just decided to quit drinking!"

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 Posted: Wed Mar 7th, 2018 03:56 am
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lobo316



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One day, a man from the Czech Republic came to visit his friend in New York.

When asked what he wanted to see, the visitor replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America."

To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the Bronx Zoo. They were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, when one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallowed the Czech whole.

Shocked, his friend from New York quickly called over the zoo keeper. He quickly explained the situation and the zoo keeper immediately took steps to save the man's friend. The zoo keeper got an axe and asked the man, "OK, which gorilla did it? Was it the male or the female?" The New Yorker pointed out the female as the culprit. Quickly, the zoo keeper split the female gorilla open and found nothing of the Czech.

He looked at the man from New York, who shrugged and said, "Guess the Czech is in the male."

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 Posted: Sun Mar 25th, 2018 06:34 am
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lobo316



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What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.


What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.



What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart?

You are the wind beneath my wings.

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