View single post by srossi
 Posted: Sat Sep 21st, 2019 08:06 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: New York USA
Posts: 52451
My first job while still a senior in college, I got this "too good to be true" opportunity to run the entire HR division for an Internet start-up in Long Island City, which no doubt has been replaced by a high-rise by now.  I was 21 and the HR Director.  The company had like 20 employees, mostly in sales, and I would be responsible for doing absolutely everything as literally the only HR employee in the company and had the power to build my own team.  I also supervised the Marketing Director, another kid who was the only person in her division. 

My first week on the job I was drafting an employee manual, placing job ads, interviewing a few candidates already in the pipeline, etc.  I didn't know what I was doing and the company was a small, disorganized mess but there seemed to be some promise. 

Most of Week 2 was spent disciplining and/or firing salespeople who came in late, didn't come in at all, or spent all day surfing for porn online.  No one wants to be fired by a 21-year old and I got threatened with physical violence routinely.

By Week 3, the office manager told me that growth was unexpectedly slow and that we couldn't afford to hire any of the people I was recruiting.  Then he wanted me and the Marketing Director to become telemarketers to drum up business and dropped a list of hundreds of companies for us to call.

I started looking for a new job immediately, but from Weeks 4-8 I was basically a glorified telemarketer with a Director title.  I had to keep a log of my calls but only actually called 1/5 of the companies I claimed to.  I was embarrassed to even pick up the phone and sometimes would hang up if anyone answered and pretend that no one was there.  I would call fax numbers to make it look like I was making calls.  If I did speak to someone, I made no effort to make a sale.  Some of the real telemarketers who took this shit seriously wanted to give me tips and I told them not to bother because I had no desire to get good at this and would be gone soon.  Of course, I also surfed the Internet for about 6 hours a day.  I was just absolutely mortified to show up at work every day, and they made me work 8-6 with a 30 minute lunch break.  That is a long, long time to pretend to be making calls.

Side note: In the middle of all this, the Marketing Director got knocked up and wound up getting an abortion, and spent about 2 days crying at her desk all day.  You can't make this shit up.

On the plus side, there was a cute 19-year old Asian chick who went to Cooper Union who was a web designer there.  She would show up after classes and work half days and we hooked up about 5 times.  So it wasn't a total loss. 

I was there for 8 weeks total before landing at J.P. Morgan as a Campus Recruiter and really starting my career.  I was actually told to take that Director title off my resume because it looked so absurd at that stage of my career.   

Last edited on Sat Sep 21st, 2019 08:30 pm by srossi

This thread was great before AA ruined it.