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beejmi
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Yeah I know - it's "working".

Every announcer told you things that weren't true -- and whether your bullshit detector went off or not I would like to hear them.

I am filing suit against the following wrestling announcers for feeding me the following bullshit.

Gorilla Monsoon used to tell us that to get a title match you had to be the "number one contender" which meant having had won a certain number of matches vs top competition. Bullshit.

Vince McMahon used to trace the origin of the Indian Strap Match right back to the dang Indians as this was how they settled the differences that couldn't be settled otherwise.  Uh huh. Sure.

Gordon Solie told me the Masked Superstar was a former Olympic athlete. I don't think so.

 

srossi

 

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My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.

I don't remember Solie ever saying that Superstar was a former Olympian, but I remember hearing in several different territories that he was a very famous pro athlete wrestling under a mask to hide his identity and he would be instantly recognizable if he took it off.

Of course Andre being undefeated and never having been slammed.

Fabulous Moolah being like a 36-year champion or whatever too.

Last edited on Sun Jan 13th, 2008 11:58 pm by srossi

BayouBoogie



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srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


That's a good one.

 

The Ultimate Sin
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srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


They're called carpenters, mother fucker!  Show some damn respect!  That pencil has an eraser, and you don't know because you weren't there.

Franchise
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Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.

Last edited on Mon Jan 14th, 2008 02:55 pm by Franchise

king-of-old-school



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At every show Gorilla Monsoon saying"They are literally hanging from the rafters" and you would see empty seats...

thunderbolt
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The Ultimate Sin wrote: srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


They're called carpenters, mother fucker!  Show some damn respect!  That pencil has an eraser, and you don't know because you weren't there.


It also seemed like every jobber had always "been on an impressive win streak of late".

"This would be a main event in any arena in the world."

Some mid-card guy who hadn't been on tv for a few weeks was always just returning from a successful world tour.




gogodelfin

 

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LOL in the new Smackdown vs Raw videogame there was a commentary goof that really cracked me up. I was playing as Undertaker and fought Great Khali, and the match was terrible, and I just threw him out of the ring to win by countout - just before the next loading screen came up they managed to squeak out one last line of commentary from JR:

"Boy, what a match!"


TerryWWWF



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About 90 percent of the wrestlers' NFL backgrounds were lies.

 

 

sek69



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My favorite Gorilla-ism is when he would say "you can only find this kind of action in the world wrestling federation" and it would be during a 15 minute jobber vs jobber match.

Or even better, if a jobber would be allowed to  get some offense in, he'd sell how dangerous this guy can be despite the fact the jobber usually looked like a fat guy out of the crowd.

srossi

 

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My favorite Gorilla-ism is when he would say "you can only find this kind of action in the world wrestling federation" and it would be during a 15 minute jobber vs jobber match.

Bruno has been saying that a lot in the UWF.  The UWF!

TerryWWWF



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"Promoters all over the country have been bidding for this match."

(Reality: Nick Gulas would have booked it for $100).

 

 

HBF



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BayouBoogie wrote: srossi wrote: My favorite generic lie is how every jobber was "a youngster" who "has all the tools" but just "needs more experience".  Every fucking jobber match EVER.  Even involving jobbers who had been jobbing for 15 years.


That's a good one.

 


Yeah, it was a tough sell in the WWF during Baron Scicluna matches.:D

Almost all of the "amateur" wrestling credentials were bullshit.  There were exceptions, but I take it as the majority of these guys were either released from prison for jacking hubcaps rather than rolling around on the amateur mats.

Last edited on Mon Jan 14th, 2008 02:06 pm by HBF

kargol



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Monsoon called Carlos Colon a "youngster" when the latter was in the Royal Rumble, must have been 49 at the time or something.

There's some stupid little things that are obviously wrong.  When Raven's Nest/Flock was broken up by DDP, Tony Schiavone said that it was a good thing for the members.  At a time when Saturn was wearing a dress, Lodi was without a role, Scott Vick was still a heel and Reese was jobbing to Juventud Guerrera.

BayouBoogie



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Franchise wrote: Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.
Similarly, Hacksaw Duggan was banned from the NFL for being too wild and violent.

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kargol wrote: Monsoon called Carlos Colon a "youngster" when the latter was in the Royal Rumble, must have been 49 at the time or something.
Ya that's got to be one of the worst of all time. Also, Monsoon speaking on Ric Flair's NWA belt on WWF TV, "I don't know where he got that thing but it wasn't here...":shock:

BuddyPSHayes



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BayouBoogie wrote: Franchise wrote: Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.
Similarly, Hacksaw Duggan was banned from the NFL for being too wild and violent.

As was Bruce/Butch Reed and Rod Price, among others.

Heretic



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I believe Monsoon called Harley Race a "youngster" too, upon entering the WWF in the mid-80s. Anybody without a significant WWF background was by definition a "youngster."

Kriss
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I remember Monsoon's commentary when he was also "president" or whatever role he had. When he commentating during the B shows, he would give always give a $ amount for the purse to be won in a job... carpenter match. Hmmm, so Razor Ramon will earn $4000 for beating Barry Horowitz tonight will he? Okay...

kargol



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BuddyPSHayes wrote: BayouBoogie wrote: Franchise wrote: Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.
Similarly, Hacksaw Duggan was banned from the NFL for being too wild and violent.

As was Bruce/Butch Reed and Rod Price, among others.

And Bill Irwin from ice hockey leagues, when he came in as The Goon.  Didn't they also say Sgt Slaughter was booted out of the army for killing a cadet or something?

The Ultimate Sin
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kargol wrote: BuddyPSHayes wrote: BayouBoogie wrote: Franchise wrote: Jim Neidhart leaving the NFL because it wasn't tough enough.
Similarly, Hacksaw Duggan was banned from the NFL for being too wild and violent.

As was Bruce/Butch Reed and Rod Price, among others.

 Didn't they also say Sgt Slaughter was booted out of the army for killing a cadet or something?
I believe they said he ass raped a cadet.

TerryWWWF



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In retrospect, how about Pat Patterson drooling over Buddy Rose's valets?

 

tamalie
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Monsoon's youngster comments about Colon and Race were tounge in cheek.

One blatant fib by announcers were all the lies told about Mike Von Erich's supposed athletic prowess when he was starting out. Fritz wanted to get the kid over as a star and to make up for his slight build. Granted concocting false amateur athletic accomplishments in the name of Kayfabe isn't exactly ground breaking, but this went too far because the supposed medals, records, and varsity letters didn't seem remotely plausible.

srossi

 

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I took everything Monsoon said to be tongue-in-cheek.  I don't know why people still get so upset over what he said, in retrospect almost everything he ever said was a goof. 

TerryWWWF



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Except when he was talking about possible damage to the 13th and 14th cervical vertebrae.

 

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I forget some of it now, but how about them trying to put the Masked Superstar over by saying he was a former world-class athlete.

beejmi
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TerryWWWF wrote: In retrospect, how about Pat Patterson drooling over Buddy Rose's valets?

 

Classic. Yes I remember watching some older footage a year or two ago and laughing hard when Patterson would talk about such.

The Ultimate Sin
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Papa Voo wrote: I forget some of it now, but how about them trying to put the Masked Superstar over by saying he was a former world-class athlete.
Or current pro football player.  I remember the mentioning he might be Jack Ham on one broadcast.

sek69



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tamalie wrote: Monsoon's youngster comments about Colon and Race were tounge in cheek.

One blatant fib by announcers were all the lies told about Mike Von Erich's supposed athletic prowess when he was starting out. Fritz wanted to get the kid over as a star and to make up for his slight build. Granted concocting false amateur athletic accomplishments in the name of Kayfabe isn't exactly ground breaking, but this went too far because the supposed medals, records, and varsity letters didn't seem remotely plausible.



Everything that was said about the Von Erichs athletic prowess was made up, like saying Kerry could have been in the Olympics if not for the boycott in 1980. All of the Von Erich boys were star high school atheletes but their records were all for the "small school" class so they were probably competing against kids with 1/4th the background and training they had.



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