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The Story of The Ant and The Grasshopper  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Wed Dec 12th, 2007 12:31 am
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srossi

 

Joined: Sun Oct 14th, 2007
Location: New York USA
Posts: 49817
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TRADITIONAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.



MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are
cold and starving.

The news statioms show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How
can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the
grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being
Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse
then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Politicians in an election year exclaim in an interview with Larry
King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair
share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that were appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.


[code]

Last edited on Wed Dec 12th, 2007 12:32 am by srossi



____________________
This thread was great before AA ruined it.
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 Posted: Wed Dec 12th, 2007 12:41 am
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2nd Post
beejmi
The Big Kahuna


Joined: Sat Oct 13th, 2007
Location: Philly
Posts: 41719
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Oh that's great. Funny stuff.

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