View single post by CanadianHorseman
 Posted: Sat Feb 16th, 2008 07:35 pm
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Joined: Fri Nov 2nd, 2007
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia Canada
Posts: 14018
20 years of bartending has given me oppurtunity to hear about a thousand " man walks into a bar " jokes so here are a couple of my favourites:

- a man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of Jack Daniels. As soon as the bartender finishes pouring the shots the man downs them all quickly. Give me 10 more he says to the bartender. As the bartender finishes up pouring the shots he says to the guy: hey buddy - you better slow down a bit. The man says: screw that - you'd drink them quick too if you had what I have. He then proceeds to down the 10 shots of JD. The bartender gives him a sympathetic look and says: Gee bud - what do you have ???? The man replies: about 5 bucks.


- a man walks into a bar...............................and the dumb bastard nearly breaks his nose.


- a bartender is wiping down his bar one night. Suddenly he looks up and standing right in front of his bar he sees a farmer's daughter, a pair of siamese twins, a talking dog, a virgin, a priest and the President of the United States. He looks at them and asks: what is this - a joke ???? 


WARNING: If you are Jewish it might be best to skip over this one

Hitler and a friend walk into a bar and Hitler waves the bartender over. He says: give me 2 shots of your best cognac. Hell - pour yourself one too. So the bartender pours out 3 glasses and they all down the cognac. Hitler immediately orders another round of drinks. The bartender says to Hitler: I don't want to seem nosy but it looks like you're celebrating something tonight. Hitler smiles and says: you're right. Tomorrow I'm going to kill 10,000 Jews and 5 musicians. The bartender looks puzzled and says: 5 musicians ??? Why the hell are you going to kill 5 musicians ???  Hitler then turns to his friend and says: see - nobody cares about the Jews.